


Transcendence

by dragking8586



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Smut, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Nudity, Underage Nudity, Violent Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:56:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragking8586/pseuds/dragking8586
Summary: Part I; Talking to the dead.Oct 1995.Part II; Sep 2005.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. 1

Part I

Remus Lupin opened his classroom as he always had these past few months. He found a goblet of freshly brewed wolfsbane on his desk in a stasis charm. The accompanying note from Severus explained how to unlock the stasis so he could "enjoy" the contents as soon as possible. Lupin had come to enjoy Snape's dry humor. There was a second rolled up parchment. Remus realized it was Snape's recipe, with his notes in the margin's. Hmm.. Remus went back to the original note.

Remus - (Hmm, Severus never called him that.)  
I find I will be going on a journey from which I may not return. I want you to know I have long since forgiven you for your part in "the prank." I didn't tell you in all this time because I wanted you to suffer, but not for the obvious reason. You were my first crush. (Remus' fingers touched his trembling lips). Of course I have since discovered I enjoy the company of both sexes. But that night I was going to tell you. I would like to think if I had made it to the shack and witnessed your change that I would have still gone through with my declaration. Once "the prank" was revealed however, you chose their friendship over me. Their actions took something away from us, the proverbial "what might have been". I know you just thought of us as friends at the time. Your choice sealed my silence these many years. Perhaps you might understand why it hurt so much the choice you made. My cowardice however mine to bear, for never finding in myself the courage to tell you before now because I couldn't face rejection from you. You have a new love now, and a new chance. I wish you and Ms. Tonks many years of happiness.  
S.S.

Remus rolled the parchment back up and put it in a drawer. He had the oddest sensation of long fingers brushing through his hair. He was sure he imagined it. He didn't have the luxury to think too much because the courtyard bells rang calling all professors to the Headmaster's office for an emergency meeting. Once the announcement was made, Remus was glad he was seated. He buried his face in his folded arms and let the silent tears fall. They fell for three days.  
***************************************************************

"I wish you hadn't done it. I imagine from the outpouring of grief I'm not the only one. I suppose we hope you can hear us wherever you are." The very old man with a very long white beard sat near the open casket. He talked softly, but clearly. "Small comfort such as it is that you effectively rid our world of the Dark Lord. Some of us would have preferred your acerbic personality and both of you to a world without both of you. A worId without you. I know at the time you believed it to be for the best. Time will always tell. I've asked everyone to say a sentence or two about you, instead of one long eulogy. I think we all only knew a few pieces of you, by your design I'm guessing. None of us, even myself, knew you well enough to drone on for 45 minuets. You wouldn't have wanted that anyway. I've chosen Shacklebolt, Hagrid, Draco, Harry, Ron, and Remus to bear you to your final resting place. I hope I have chosen well." The elderly man rose and approached the casket. He placed his whole left hand on the hands folded in peace in the casket. "I've always respected and trusted you completely. I should have stopped calling you "boy" long ago. You never flinched, even mentally like the young ones do today, and never complained. I suppose you indulged an old man his idiosyncrasies. I don't quite know when it happened though, when I realized I loved you like a son. I regret not telling you. I intend to rectify that tomorrow. You brave, brave man.."

*************************************************************  
"I laid naked in your arms, you nude as well under that quilt. I thought you were a pervert, coming up with the excuse to get me naked and next to you, even if the rest of your plan was legit. Now I couldn't care. I'd give anything to feel you naked against me again. One arm around me, one hand in my hair, my one leg between yours. I was so angry when Professor McGonagall and Headmaster pulled me from you. If Professor McGonagall hadn't cast the silencing charm your scream would probably have deafened us all. I felt it when Voldemort was gone. I hadn't known your sacrifice yet. I didn't understand why Headmaster was begging you to toss him out. Instead you tossed all of us out of your head. The arsehole was too distracted to realize he was trapped until it was too late. His desperate attempt to get free killed himself.....and you. Merlin, I felt your body stiffen, felt your scream, we all saw energy blast out of every orifice you had, and some new ones. We smelled the burnt flesh after you fell back. Even if you had survived you would have suffered. As selfish as I'm being, I wouldn't have wanted that. Thank you for the gift. The memories you transferred to me somehow of Mum and Dad. I'm sorry he was a prick to you. When St. Mungo's asked us to send them something to dress you in they had found this torn photo of Mum and a piece of letter from her. Obviously they had been important to you. I'm not gonna ask anybody, I'm gonna tape this pic of my Mum on top here so you can look at it." The Boy-who-lived also tucked the single paper of the end of a letter that was signed, "Lots of Love, Lily" under the fingers of the deceased. He swiped the snot on his sleeve and turned to leave. There were others waiting. "By the way, some writer said you smelled like bitterness and old shoes. I don't know what bitterness smells like, maybe she did, but how would she know that you smelled like that? I might say I should know, and I didn't smell anything that dramatic from you. Your hair did smell though, like petrol, you know the stuff that heats our cauldrons. I didn't mind." 

***************************************************************

"Of all the inane, asinine, daft, harebrained, imbecilic, ridiculous, half-baked, beautiful, brilliant, lost the plot, wicked, gobsmacked, incredible, selfish, un-selfish things to do! How did you manage to talk us into it!" Looks down. "I suppose it might have only occurred to you when the opportunity presented itself. The nit wit had been lured into your head realizing he had to disable you before he could get to Harry." Pause. Exasperated, "Did you really have to get the both of you naked!?" Pause. Indignantly, "I did not appreciate the forceful mental push! Nearly landed on my arse! If I had the whole school might have heard...heard...your scream." Softly, "As it was, the dungeons shook like thunder." Pause. "I had to look away." "Students have found your portrait next to your office. Albus thinks he knows why it's there and not in the Headmasters office. Harry is upset. I'll leave Albus to explain it to him. I'm happy Hogwarts paid you the honor of a portrait. I wonder if you'd talk to us?" Pause. "Where ever you are, Severus, rest in peace." Madam McGonagall curtsied as deeply as her old knees allowed.  
***************************************************************  
"I hate you. I hate you, I hate you. I was a knob head and I know it. I'll never forget the day you put me in my place. Damn funny now but I was gobsmacked at the time. I didn't think you heard me. "What was that, Mr. Malfoy?" You walked toward me like you were getting in position. I thought you were going to hit me in the back of the head with that infernal notebook you carried around. You had that quirky little smile. "Do enlighten us Mr. Malfoy." You keep inching closer, I was inching backwards. 'I said I wondered if your nose got in the way of kissing.' The class giggled. I am still gobsmacked. You grabbed my arms and pulled me hard to your chest and gave me one hell of a kiss. I know, it was only 20 seconds or so...felt like five minutes! You pushed me away just as hard, but you still gripped my arms. Man the class was frozen. 'Answer your question Mr. Malfoy?' My father will hear of this! I spit out. Damn, I didn't even feel your nose! You let go of my arms eventually. 'Do keep track of how long he laughs. I'd bet a fiver it's at least a full minute.' Damn Longbottom had to chime in. Hell, half the class chimed in." Pause. "Thanks for saving my life when Potter almost killed me. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you." Pause as tears flowed. "You would have won. It was five minuets, if you don't count the snickering he still does." 

**************************************************************  
Draco's father squeezed his son's shoulder and led him away. Narcissa touched Severus' folded hands then brushed his cold lips with hers. She knew she wasn't supposed to. Most thought she kissed his forehead. If any knew different they didn't say. Taking a cue from Madam, she curtsied as deeply as she could.  
*********************************************************  
Tears flowed un-relented for this witch. "I can think of a million things to say when I'm alone. Now I can't think of a single thing." Sniff. "I learned so much from you. Even when you weren't teaching. Rest in peace." Hermione did her best to curtsy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Part II

Thru 1 Sep, 2005

"Staff, I'd like to introduce our new dance instructor, Professor Taima Shuman," Minerva indicated the young man at the table in the first staff meeting of the year. She pronounced his name as tah-ee-mah. "He comes to us from Ilvermorny where he has taught said subject for the past three years, and he's very good at dueling as well." A general acknowledgment of their newest colleague rounded the table. He nodded to as many as he could and murmured thanks. The young part/Native American man was nothing short of beautiful with his oval face, almond eyes and very long dark silky hair. 

Remus caught up with the young man after the meeting and extended his hand. Taima was wearing black dress jeans and black beaded and fringed leather moccasin leggings. He barely brushed 6'. "Let me be the first of your fellow colleagues to welcome you to Hogwarts, I'm Professor Remus Lupin." "Thank you," Taima took the proffered hand. He felt a tiny jolt when their hands clasped. He hadn't intended to but he whispered aloud, "Sassaba..." "Excuse me?" Remus dropped the man's hand and leaned closer. "Oh," Taima shook his head slightly as if to clear it. "I sometimes give people nick names in my head. They aren't supposed to make it to my mouth," he said genially. Smiling Remus asked, "Does it mean something?" "Very astute Professor. Yes it does." Remus felt like he was pulling teeth to get to the tenor of things with this young man. "And that would be?" Taima glanced around briefly to see if anyone was in earshot before he said, "Wolf."

Remus narrowed his eyes with another question on his lips, "How did you know?" Taima took a deep breath to steady his thoughts. How best to explain without offending the man with the easy and friendly smile? "Every tear in your eye, every bead of sweat on your brow, every drop of blood, even the oil of your skin. If you touch me, or I you, I can't *not* touch the wolf." "Amazing." Remus was impressed. "Do you have this gift with everyone?" "Yes, but not always so... dramatic." "I see. I truly look forward to getting to know you. Does your name mean something?" "Taima means 'thunder'," he answered. "You give me something to think about. See you at the opening feast?" "Of course." Remus headed off to find Hagrid to take the Express to King's Cross. Taima headed to the dungeons to see his assigned office and his new digs.

Headmistress had warned him it would be locked. She wished him luck. At the bottom of the steps he continued on. When he reached the office a portrait of a former professor was next to the door. The plate read "Severus Snape, potions master, 1981-1995" 

Taima tried the knob, and yes it was locked by a charm. Alohomora didn't work, so Taima assumed an anti-alohomora charm was used. Hmm, Taima tried his wand. "Reveal your secret," he incanted. A rolled parchment appeared stuck between the knob and door jam. Taima unrolled the parchment and read:

*Only the hand of an innocent one*  
*Free from knowing hurt or pain*  
*Will be permitted entrance here to one*  
*Worthy to reverence and keep the secrets  
*Here within*

Taima turned over the first two lines of the riddle in his mind. A baby... Oh my... Taima re-rolled the parchment and called a house elf. When one appeared he requested an audience with the Headmistress. He was already climbing the stone circular steps up to the main level of the castle.  
******************************************************  
"Actually, Mr. Potter intends to join us with his wife and 2 year old at the opening feast tonight," Minerva said. "Shall we broach the subject to him together?" "I'll floo-call him first." Minerva warned.

*****************************************************  
The sorting ceremony was interesting here. Not what Taima was used to. Taima was seated near the top of the head table, as Headmistress would introduce him shortly. He decided to see if a house elf could braid his hair before the feast. Finally one was located, so he had sat on the bed while the elf worked. Taima didn't feel comfortable since being assigned these rooms. There seemed to be a spirit knocking on his brain. The rooms needed serious airing out. Headmistress warned him about that too, but he seriously needed to talk to her about the bed. He chose a cranberry colored small bow with the crest of his Ilvermorny house embroidered in blue on it, the Horned Serpent. At the opening feast Taima perused the great hall. He saw a slight young man holding an infant sitting at one of the house tables. He assumed the figure was *the* Harry Potter. When he was introduced to the school he stood dutifully. When Headmistress took her seat at the head of the table, she bent to his ear and said, "My office after the feast." He nodded to her. When the time came Headmistress directed the house prefects to guide their charges to their dorms. Taima followed her to the Headmasters office, where Harry was already waiting, engaging some house elf's in an animated discussion.

Harry stood up when they entered. Minerva introduced them to each other. Taima had a strange sense this wouldn't go well when he clasped Harry's hand. Indeed he felt a jolt that knocked his head and free arm back. He took a step back with one foot to steady himself. A spirit channeled through him basically without permission. He felt the spirit was doing something important when he died. Then he felt the searing pain of pure evil. A caged animal desperate to escape. Taima heard voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. The hum started deep in his soul. He tried to suppress the scream but he couldn't stop it from taking over his whole body. Taima felt his hand go limp and slip from Harry's, his vision became a tunnel, his body stiff. He was falling... Merlin's gods and angels, Mother Earth... 

"Arresto!" Minerva had her hand on her wand the second the boys shook hands. She had a feeling she was going to need it. Harry, now free from the hand-hold fell back and stumbled, then fell on his arse. "He relived Snape's death," Harry yelled. "We could see that, Mr. Potter. You might protect his head from the concrete!" Harry scrambled and got his legs under Taima's head. Wordlessly Minerva released the spell on Taima and he fell to the floor. Harry steadied his hands on Taima's face in his lap. 

Taima's lips were parted and moving, but no words formed. His breathing was shallow and for an instant everyone smelled the unmistakable scent of burned flesh. Minerva moved closer but could not kneel down. "Professor?" Harry started to talk to him. Ginny placed James in his carrier. Thankfully he wasn't fussy. She approached her husband and conjured a damp cloth. Harry took it. He hoped the cool cloth would stimulate the shocked professor. Taima's breathing did slow and become more even. "Professor, we need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. Come on, wake up." Harry freed some of Taima's hair from his grasp and draped the long ponytail down Taima's chest. Painfully, slowly, Taima rolled to the side and propped up on his right forearm, his left hand rubbed his neck. "Damn..." he said softly. He rolled to his knees. "That doesn't usually happen." Harry got up and offered his hands to the younger man and helped him to stand. Taima was unsteady. Harry wrapped an arm around his waist and guided him to a chair. Taima sank into it gratefully. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "What doesn't?" Minerva asked. Eyes still closed Taima responded. "A spirit usually asks permission to come forward. This fellow was more...demanding." Minerva and Harry exchanged a look, both formed a little smirk on their faces. Minerva gave a brief nod to Harry. 

"So why did the ole bat make you relive his...uh...passing?" Minerva asked. "He says it's important for me." Harry half shrugged and still smirked to Minerva. "He says thank you both for securing the Merlin first class award in his name." "You're welcome, Severus," Minerva responded. Taima nodded and the left side of his mouth quirked up. "He says when you're ready hold the childs arm up to the door. When his fingers touch the knob, the Anti-Alohomora charm will be broken.." Harry nodded. "It's late, we'll try tomorrow." Taima nodded and opened his eyes. "Thank you Mr. Potter, Headmistress. This was draining. I need to go to my rooms." Taima tiredly pushed himself up from the chair. "I'll have a house elf take you there." "Wait," Harry said. Harry walked over to Ginny and spoke to his wife too softly for the other two to hear. Ginny picked up James' carrier and her baby bag. Harry returned to Minerva. "Ginny's going up to our rooms." Harry turned to Taima. "You look unsteady Professor. Can I side along with the elf?" "Of course." Taima was sounding more like Snape every minute. Minerva called for an elf and with a snap of his fingers they reappeared in Taima's quarters, formally Snape's.

Taima shrugged out of his black jacket. He hung it up near the door. "Care for a brandy?" "Yes, please," Harry answered. Harry looked around and kept an eye on Taima who still seemed unsteady. Once Taima poured the drinks he sank into one of the wingbacks in front of the fireplace. He wandlessly conjured a small fire. Harry sat in the other threadbare wingback and picked up one of snifters. The pieces fell into place for Harry, right or wrong as he watched his seeming dozing host. The long oval face, the prominent nose, minus the bump however, the dark eyes, and beautiful long black hair. Not that he thought Snape's hair was beautiful, but it was the same color. "You were with him," Taima said directly. Harry took a sip of the brandy. "Yes." Harry paused. "I can't believe it's been almost 10 years." Taima nodded. "Does your name mean something?" Again Taima nodded. Harry took a sip of his brandy, but no answer was forthcoming. Taima opened his eyes and regarded Harry. "When do you leave?" "Uh, after noon meal." "I have class at 9am, can we meet at 8am to see if we can get the Potions office open?" "Ok. James will probably have us up anyway."

Harry sensed his host might be knackered after the energy expended in the Headmasters office, so he set about to finish his brandy. "He says "no", Taima mentions distractedly. Harry is a bit mystified. "Who says "no"? "The Dark spirit that keeps knocking on my brain. He says 'no, he didn't need you naked, but it ensured a more successful outcome'," Taima explains. Harry felt the burn of anger sitting in the pit of his stomach like a burning piece of coal threatening to turn into really nasty heartburn. Hell, he'd *been* angry for nearly 8 years after mourning and feeling sorry for himself for two. He wasn't going to squander the opportunity to give Snape a *lecture*. "The 'successful outcome' was that you died!?" Harry yelled at Taima. Harry jumped out of the chair and rounded on the young unresponsive Professor. "People cared about you! You abandoned the school, the students!" Harry testily grabbed the snifter off the table and downed it. Softer he spoke into glass, "You abandoned me..." "He's gone." "Did he hear me?" "Oh yes." "Good!" Harry said loudly to the air. He set the glass down and tangled his hands in his hair. "I'm sorry."

Taima stood and walked up behind Harry. "I know. Perhaps we can talk more tomorrow. I'd like to know more about this spirit that's channeling through me." Harry dropped his hands. "We will, good night." Taima nodded. Harry opened the door and headed to the guest rooms. Taima closed the door.


	2. Baby's Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Open sessame.  
> T/S = The body of Taima; the spirt of Snape.  
> M/M sexual content

Taima woke after a fitful but restless sleep. The strong dark spirit invaded his dreams. He resolved to talk to Headmistress about getting a new bed. 

He dressed in dark jeans and light blue long sleve shirt and donned his Native American knee high soft beaded mocasins and leather beaded and fringed black vest. After a spot of tea a knock was at his door. Taima opened the door to see Harry holding his firstborn in his arms. The men exchanged morning greetings then Harry askes "Shall we do this?" "Yes, please," Taima agreed and walked out and closed the chamber doors. As they headed to the magically locked office, "You didn't lock up your chambers?" Harry asked. "I got the impression the formal occupant didn't feel a need to. As if who would go to the dungeons." Harry laughed. "Yeh, that's a point." 

When they reached the office, Taima paused at the portrait of Severus Snape. "Can you tell me about this man?" "Well," Harry began, " He was proported to be the best Liglimens of our time, but I think the best Occlumens more like. There was a dark lord using my mind to try to control me. Professor Snape tried to teach me Occulmens, but I was too young to get it. He came up with a plan to help every one. The dark lord had to get through him before getting to me. What I understand, he trapped the dark lord in his mind. In the effort of the dark lord trying to get free, he killed Professor Snape, he killed himself." 

"Ah," Taima responded. "I have been getting this feeling he was doing something important when he passed." "Yeh," Harry responded, with a hint of sadness in his voice. "So, let's do this," Harry said. 

Harry took the hand of his baby boy and touched the hand to the door of the office. Taima and Harry witnessed a beautiful array of silver/green sparks around the knob. After they disipated, Taima tried the knob, and was gratified it yeilded, the door opened, and both he and Harry entered.

"I feel that dark spirit again." Taima said. They both marveled the amount of books. Shelves and shelves of them. "How?" Harry asked, as they both purused the book shelves. Harry set the baby carrier down. "It's called chanelling." Taima started. "I allow a spirit to speak through me." 

"Can the spirit do more?" "If I allow it." Taima said. "Can I speak to Professor Snape directly?" "Well, I have to ask, then if he agrees he will come to the fore, while I remain in the background." Taima stopped looking at the books and faced Harry. "Would you like to see if I can channel Professor Snape?" Harry nodded. "Come here." Taima sat in one of the wingback chairs in front of the desk. Harry sat in the chair opposite from Taima. Taima closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate. After half a minute or so Taima opened his eyes. He steepled his fingers under his chin nd crossed one leg over the other. "Professor Snape?" There was a pause, then a slight nod from Taima's body. Harry continued.  
"I've been thinking about that day that we, well, you mostly defeated the dark lord. I didn't get to say a proper goodbye." Harrry put baby James in his carrier. "I've missed you. I'd like you to hold me again." Harry walked over toward Taima. He knelt between his legs. Taima/Snape had a pained look on his face, but with hands on the arm chairs he pushed himself up. Harry stood too. He waited for Harry to make the first move. 

Harry stepped closer to T/S and placed a hand on his chest. T/S started to place his arms around shorter Harry's waist.  
"Not like this, I mean, nude, in your bed, like that night..." Taima/Snape quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head. He pointed a finger at the sleeping baby. "I'll send for Ginny." Harry took out his cellphone and called Ginny. When she answered he asked her to come to the dungeons. T/S started to walk to the door. Harry picked up the baby carrier and followed him out. T/S locked the door and headed back where they came. By the time they got to Snapes quarters, Ginny was bounding down the stairs. "Harry!" she called. "Is everything alright?" T/S went inside. "Yes, no emergency. I need you to take James." He handed her the carrier, but she had an odd look on her face. "Professor Shuman can channel spirits." Ginny's eyes got huge. "I'll explain more later." Harry gave his wife a quick kiss and followed T/S inside. Harry found T/S by the fireplace his back to him. When he turned to face Harry his hands were in front of him with his fingers interlaced like Snape used to do. Harry wasn't sure what to do. He approached the taller man. 

"Can you talk to me?" T/S gave a short nod. "That night when you defeated the dark lord, Headmaster and Professor McGonagal had to drag me away from you. I know now why they had to. I was so angry with you for leaving us. For leaving me." Tears started to flow down Harry's cheeks. T/S closed his eyes and dropped his head. "I grieved for two years," Harry continued in a shaky voice. "I want, I need some closure. I want to hold you, I want you to hold me. I'd give anything to be nude next to you again." After a moment, T/S approached Harry. He cupped Harry's face in his hands and with his thumbs brushed the tears from his face. "I take it you would like to do this now?" Harry nodded. "Professor Shuman is aware of our conversation and is agreeable." T/S took one of Harry's hands and they walked to the bedroom


End file.
